Monday, December 22, 2008

Liberal Christians = Baal Worshippers!

I never knew!

(DEC 22 column)


Reading that, it was like my poor, little Hank never left, like he was right there in my computer, taunting me, calling me a Baal-worshipping, baby-killing, liberal-elite weasel! Good times, good times.

(And for myself, I cannot think of anything more analogous to Baal worship than the prosperity gospel preaching. And i can't think of anything closer to Old Testament prophecy than a call for social justice and concern for those excluded and exploited by a wealthy, imperialist society.)


Blogger Matthew Baugh said...

Good Grief!

This is a rant I hadn't heard before. But surely he knows that, for proper child sacrifice you need to go with Molech, not Baal.

The rites he describes sound more like what were (with some uncertain history) credited to worshipers of Molech.

Now Molech is depicted as a horned bull-man with an furnace flame burning in his belly. That should sound familiar for there is a modern icon with a horn-like growth on his head and a window in his belly through which the fires of hell can be glimpsed. I'm referring of course to Tinky-Winky, the Tele-Tubby and known homosexual. This is proof positive. logic is as good as his, maybe better. Perhaps there's a possible career change here.

11:17 PM  
Blogger Bobbie Metevier said...

Countdown to when this guy is caught in a hotel room with his pants around his ankles.

10, 9, 8, 7 . . .

1:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh. Growing up in a fundie church, I've certainly heard this special type of hilarity. Except since the internet wasn't available the pastor didn't look up a random (Pagan?) religion to pick on. Of course a simple look up for this moron would have shown that the Christian Demons called Bael had nothing to do with pagans.

8:46 AM  
Blogger CRwM said...

"Infants would then be burned alive as a sacrificial offering to the deity. Amid horrific screams and the stench of charred human flesh, congregants – men and women alike – would engage in bisexual orgies."

My liberal church has been looking for ways to up its attendance, and like unto the lilies of the field, the Almighty may have just given us the solution. Some of this really old time religion might just be what we needed to get some tushies in the pews this Thursday.

9:31 AM  
Blogger KPaffenroth said...

Well, one should keep in mind that the lurid description of Canaanite worship is the editorializer's embellishment of the Israelites' exaggeration of Canaanite excesses. In other words, it's what the Israelites thought was so scary yet attractive about their neighbors, which tells us as much about their own hangups as it does the neighbors.

11:31 AM  

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