Thursday, October 29, 2009


That was my horoscope yesterday: I will be reconciled with an estranged friend. So all you people from whom I'm estranged - here's your chance! The stars are aligned. And it didn't say the responsibility was on me, so I figure you need to get crackin'! Make it up to me, whatever you miscreants out there did wrong!

In fact, why don't we make it simple: whatever you did wrong - cheating ex-girlfriend, so-called "friend" who spread rumors behind my back, whatever it is - just come by this afternoon with a LARGE (has to be large) bowl of frozen yogurt from Pinkberry and we'll call it even. No toppings, just the frogurt. The closest store is in Manhattan, so you better drive fast and not hit any traffic. If it's too melted it doesn't count. Call me when you're close and I'll meet you at the curb to make sure you pass the test. KTHNXBY.

Anyway, it was much more optimistic, though less funny, than my fortune cookie, which read, "The glass isn't half full - it's two times too big!"


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