Monday, October 20, 2008

Monday Slush

37 TBR
48 maybe
183 rejected

Please, God, no more zombie sex stories. Please. I mean, I didn't want to rule them out in the call for subs, and one even went in the maybe pile, but man they're hard on my noggin and tummy.

Oops, right after I write that - guess what I turn the page to?

A great, big zombie... umm... how do I put this? Let's just say, after all those descriptions of bony, brittle male undead members, I thought I was a hardy, steeled veteran. But I now know an adequately vivid description of the undead female pubis can be even worse... Urp. Blech.

10 Comments:

Blogger Spin the Moon said...

I... uhm... ewwww.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Sabledrake said...

Was the word you were looking for "zorgie?" :)

Thanks for the news, btw!

2:54 AM  
Blogger Kai said...

I thought sorting out erotica anthologies was bad. Thanks for the scary visual place ;)

4:38 AM  
Blogger William Freedman said...

I used to be in a crit circle with a guy whose day job was gynecology. He never really went for the gross-out, but you know he could if he wanted.

8:58 AM  
Blogger Douglas F. Warrick said...

There ought to be a name for that phenomenon. When a horror writer finds him or herself at a loss for something legitimately frightening or even vaguely interesting, they will inevitably shoot straight for the monsters sex. It worked for Anne Rice, and has been working for Laurel K. Hammilton.

We'll call it Philbin's Law :)

11:25 AM  
Blogger KPaffenroth said...

Christine - get that review up, stat! And I think I was looking more for "Zoo-zah" or something similar for the female undead orifice.

Doug - Philbin's? I thought that'd be underage, bird-poo sex.

But, to be fair, the story I had in mind turned really rather good after that, as I told the author. But still, after seeing two births and the flying fluids associated with those, please save me more images of the female anatomy that I don't need!

11:38 AM  
OpenID raebryant said...

Oh my. Uh, yup, nothing to add to that one.

I'll just state that a vampire Brad Pitt is so much more palatable than a fungus-fest. Ewww!

3:02 PM  
Blogger William Freedman said...

My favorite story about the GYN I critted: In one of his submissions, there was a character named Aunt Flo.

When I advised him to change her name, he asked why. I actually had to explain it to him.

Where did he go to med school?

8:38 PM  
Blogger John Goodrich said...

"Zoo-zah"? Like a zombie Hoo-ha?

12:56 PM  
Blogger KPaffenroth said...

John - Yup. It was the politest way I could think to put it.

9:13 PM  

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